Recognizing Strength in Ordinary Lives
We tend to reserve the word "strong" for dramatic moments: surviving a major crisis, overcoming a significant trauma, or achieving something remarkable against all odds. But at the Center for Healing & Personal Growth, we witness a different kind of strength every day, one that often goes unrecognized and uncelebrated.
It's the strength of the parent who gets out of bed despite depression to make breakfast for their children. The courage of the person who shows up to work while managing anxiety that makes every interaction feel overwhelming. The resilience of someone who keeps trying in relationships despite past heartbreak. The determination of the individual who schedules a therapy appointment, even though asking for help feels terrifying.
This is the strength we want to talk about. The ordinary, daily kind that doesn't make headlines but makes all the difference in someone's life.
Why We Dismiss Our Own Strength
There's a peculiar human tendency to minimize our own struggles and accomplishments. We look at others and see their strength clearly, but when we look at ourselves, we see only what we think we should be doing differently.
"Everyone else seems to handle this fine." We compare our internal experience with others' external presentation and assume their ease means our difficulty reflects weakness. In reality, you have no idea how hard things might be for the person who appears to have it all together.
"I'm just doing what I have to do." We discount actions that feel necessary, as if choosing to keep going despite difficulty somehow doesn't count. But necessity doesn't negate strength. Often, it requires even more.
"If I were really strong, this wouldn't be so hard." We believe strength means things should feel easy. This is backwards. Strength is precisely what allows you to do difficult things.
"Other people have it so much worse." While perspective can be helpful, using others' suffering to invalidate your own accomplishments serves no one. Your struggles are real, and so is the strength you show in facing them.
"I'm falling apart." Sometimes strength looks like falling apart. It takes courage to let yourself feel difficult emotions rather than pushing them down. Breaking down is often a necessary part of breaking through.
The Many Faces of Ordinary Strength
Strength doesn't have a single face. It shows up in countless ways throughout our daily lives, often in moments we barely notice:
The Strength to be Vulnerable
Sharing your struggles with someone you trust, admitting you don't have all the answers, or asking for help when you need it requires immense courage. Our culture often treats vulnerability as weakness, but opening yourself to another person when you're hurting is one of the bravest things you can do.
The strength to set boundaries
Saying no to family expectations, stepping away from toxic relationships, or protecting your time and energy can feel impossibly difficult, especially if you've been taught that your needs don't matter. Every boundary you set is an act of self-respect.
The Strength to Keep Trying
Showing up to therapy week after week, even when progress feels slow. Continuing to work on a difficult relationship. Trying again after setbacks. Persistence in the face of discouragement requires tremendous strength.
The Strength to Feel Your Feelings
Allowing yourself to grieve, to be angry, to acknowledge fear, to sit with discomfort instead of numbing or distracting yourself, this takes courage. Our individual therapy services create space for this kind of courageous feeling.
The Strength to Change
Breaking old patterns, trying new behaviors, questioning beliefs you've held your whole life, change is terrifying. Every time you choose to do something differently despite your fear, you're demonstrating remarkable strength.
The Strength to be Imperfect
Accepting that you're not perfect, making mistakes and owning them, being a work in progress, this vulnerability is powerful. It's the opposite of the defensive perfectionism that keeps so many people stuck.
The Strength to Hope
After disappointment, loss, or betrayal, choosing to remain open to possibility takes profound courage. Cynicism is easy. Hope requires strength.
Reframing "Just Getting By"
Many people tell us they're "just getting by" or "barely surviving" as if this somehow doesn't count. But consider what "just getting by" might actually look like:
You're managing a full-time job while dealing with anxiety that makes every morning a battle to leave the house. You're parenting children while processing childhood trauma of your own. You're maintaining relationships while struggling with depression, which can make connections feel exhausting. You're meeting your responsibilities while carrying grief that weighs on everything you do.
"Just getting by" in these circumstances isn't the minimum. It's extraordinary.
When you're dealing with mental health challenges, trauma symptoms, or difficult life circumstances, getting through an ordinary day requires the kind of strength that others might need for a marathon. The fact that you do it day after day, often without recognition or support, is remarkable.
The Strength in Asking for Help
One of the most profound acts of strength is recognizing when you need support and actually reaching out for it. Despite how essential this is, many people struggle with tremendous shame around asking for help.
Perhaps you were raised in an environment where self-reliance was prized above all else. Maybe asking for help in the past led to disappointment or rejection. Or you might carry cultural messages about not burdening others with your problems.
But seeking support isn't a weakness. It's wisdom. It takes self-awareness to recognize your limits, courage to be vulnerable, and strength to prioritize your wellbeing over your pride.
At the Center for Healing & Personal Growth, we're honored every time someone walks through our doors or joins a virtual session. We know what it took for you to make that call, schedule that appointment, and show up. That decision itself is evidence of your strength.
Whether you're considering couples therapy, support for your children and adolescents, or exploring our group therapy options, reaching out is the first step in honoring the strength you already possess.
Strength Through Trauma and Adversity
For those who've experienced trauma, the strength required for daily life often goes unrecognized, even by yourself. Trauma can make ordinary tasks feel monumental. Going to the grocery store might trigger hypervigilance. Social situations might activate shame. Intimate relationships might bring up fear alongside desire for connection.
When you're managing trauma symptoms while also trying to work, maintain relationships, and function in daily life, you're performing an incredible feat of strength. The fact that others can't see the internal battle you're fighting doesn't make it less real or your persistence less remarkable.
Our EMDR therapy services help people process traumatic experiences, but we also spend time helping clients recognize the strength they've already shown in surviving and continuing to move forward. You didn't just survive your trauma. You're building a life beyond it, and that takes extraordinary courage.
The Strength of Parents and Caregivers
If you're a parent or caregiver, you might feel like you're constantly falling short of some impossible standard. You lose your patience, feel overwhelmed, question every decision, and worry you're damaging the people you love most.
Here's what we want you to know: The fact that you worry about doing right by your children or loved ones is evidence that you care deeply. The willingness to question yourself, to try to do better, to seek support for yourself and your family, this is a strength.
Parenting while managing your own mental health challenges requires remarkable courage. Caring for aging parents while raising children demands incredible resilience. Being present for others when you're struggling yourself takes profound strength.
Our family therapy services support parents and caregivers in recognizing their own strength while developing skills to navigate family challenges with greater ease.
Cultural and Social Dimensions of Strength
The way we understand and recognize strength is deeply influenced by culture, gender, race, and social context. Traditional narratives about strength often center on independence, stoicism, and individual achievement, values that don't resonate with everyone and can actually undermine well-being.
For many people, especially those from collectivist cultures, strength might look like maintaining family harmony, meeting obligations to others, or preserving relationships despite personal cost. For women socialized to prioritize others' needs, strength might mean learning to claim space for their own needs. For men taught that vulnerability equals weakness, strength might look like allowing yourself to feel and express emotions.
People from marginalized communities often demonstrate remarkable strength simply by navigating systems not designed for them, managing the stress of discrimination or microaggressions, and maintaining hope and dignity in the face of injustice.
At our center, we honor diverse expressions of strength and work to help clients recognize the particular kinds of courage their own experiences and identities have required.
Small Practices for Honoring Your Strength
1. Keep a "Strength Journal."
At the end of each day, write down one thing you did that required strength, even if it seems small. Over time, you'll build evidence of your resilience that you can return to when you need reminding.
2. Reframe Your Self-talk
When you catch yourself thinking "I should be able to handle this," replace it with "This is hard, and I'm handling it." When you think "I'm barely surviving," remind yourself, "I'm getting through something difficult."
3. Share Your Struggles
When appropriate, be honest about what you're dealing with. You might be surprised by how many people respond with recognition and their own stories of ordinary strength.
4. Celebrate Small Wins
Got out of bed when depression made it feel impossible? That counts. Made it through a social event despite anxiety? That counts. Asked for help when you needed it? That definitely counts.
5. Consider Therapy
Professional support can help you identify and honor your strengths while developing additional resources for life's challenges. Our telehealth services make it easier to access support that fits your life.
You Are Stronger Than You Know
Here's what we see when we look at the people who walk through our doors: individuals who've survived things that could have destroyed them. People who keep showing up for their lives even when it's hard. Parents who are breaking cycles and doing better for their children than was done for them. Partners who are learning new ways of relating despite old wounds. Individuals who are choosing to heal rather than simply survive.
We see strength. Extraordinary strength dressed in the clothes of ordinary life.
You might not feel strong. You might feel tired, overwhelmed, and barely keeping it together. But the fact that you're still here, still trying, still open to possibility, that's strength. The kind that matters most.
Whatever brought you to this article, whether you're struggling right now or supporting someone who is, we hope you'll begin to recognize the strength that's been there all along. It's not something you need to find or develop. It's something you need to acknowledge.
You've been strong all along. It's time to give yourself credit for it.
If you'd like support in recognizing and building on your existing strength, we're here to help. Contact us to learn more about how therapy can support your journey. Sometimes the strongest thing you can do is allow yourself to be supported.
Remember, you don't have to navigate life's challenges alone—healing and growth are possible with the right support. Reach out to the Center for Healing & Personal Growth today to discover how our trauma-informed, heart-centered approach can help you thrive.
